Namaste. It is 5:34 a.m.
As I mentioned yesterday, we returned to school for a full day for the first time in weeks. I think the realization that it was our first full day in a while provided more fear and more emotional exhaustion than anything else. If anything, the morning seemed a bit rushed, as this morning does. I’m trying to fit a two-hour routine into 30 minutes of time. Something has to give.
And so suddenly, I resist. I become resentful. It’s not hard to harbor that feeling and let it poision the rest of the day and all I do.
This makes the inner critic very happy. You become disappointed in yourself for not doing what you were able to do last week. You become bitter, and now everything you do is not how you wanted it to be. Your inner critic tells you, “See? You can’t do this. Stop trying to be somebody you are not.”
It’s not hard to allow those feelings to creep in. They are automatic, protecting you from experiencing unconditional love, both for yourself and for the world around you.
I’m reading The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is one of the sequel books to his overwhelmingly successful title, The Four Agreements. In short, the author shares with us the wisdom of the Toltecs, ancient wisdom held secret for many years. In the introduction, Ruiz writes:
Toltec knowledge arises from the same essential unity of truth as all the sacred esoteric traditions found around the world. Though it is not a religion, it honors all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth. While it does embrace spirit, it is most accurately described as a way of life, distinguished by the ready accessibility of happiness and love.
Later today, I will share with you an excerpt about love and fear, for I believe that it is in understanding these two that I can better enter a day without my inner critic controlling what I do, how I think, and how I feel. Fear is the foundation of so much pain, so much self-hurt. We need to abandon fear and embrace love. We need to recognize how fear continues to hold us back from living simply and full of love.
I pray you have a blessed morning filled with love.