40 Days: 021710-D1.0

Day 1.

It’s 9:47 p.m., and I am just getting the chance to jump on line and throw down my day-1 post. Like I promised, I’m going to be candid in these entries about this journey.

When I woke up at 4:57 a.m., and I turned off my alarm, my first thought was, What stupidity compelled me to commit myself to this journey? Already, being awake less than 30 seconds, the inner critic was hard at work telling me what a bad decision I made to do this.

I will spare you the drama. I did not listen to that nasty inner critic. I’ll be heading to bed soon with day number one under my belt, intact, and ready to face day number two.

The day, itself, provided test after test. I stopped by Safeway on my way to school (we had a 2-hour delay) and picked up some bananas, apples, oranges, and carrots for grazing throughout the day. Perfect balance to get me through, especially with having to teach this evening at Towson U. I had a constant supply of munchy fruits and vegetables to get me to dinner, cucumber and asparagus rolls from Edo Sushi.

That’s the food part. Facebook-wise, I have successfully undocked from its pier, both online and on my phone. No updates, no alerts, no notifications. In my world, it no longer exists.

I was tempted several times today to move away from my journey. The temptations can be so subtle, yet so strong. What got me through the day was a constant inner-questioning: Are you making the right choices? Does this detract you from your journey? What’s the reward if you fail?

Truthfully, every time I wanted to stray, all I had to do was think of individuals I hold a high regard for–my sister Cindy, who is battling cancer; my former student and friend Dylan, who continues to pursue meaningful directions in his life despite the great struggles and battles, and all my friends who have faced adversity and won.

There’s a reason why I’m doing this. I expect to be tested, to be challenged, to be tempted. Today, I learned that my faith is stronger than I realized. I made good choices, and I did not allow the temptations to distract me.

I am realistic. I know that I have not yet been tested genuinely. The road ahead is still very  uncertain, and each day deeper into these 40 days will provide new challenges.

Tomorrow, I will delve more into the spiritual aspects of the origins of this journey. Until then, I thank all of you who have contacted me already with notes of encouragement and support.

Signing off for now…will be back tomorrow.

❤ to all, Rus

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